An Unexpected Snowfall

My phone alarm is going off again.  Board of directors meeting happening now, yes I'm aware. It takes a couple swipes to turn off the reminder and pull back the home screen. God, I can't believe it's been an hour already. At least the heater and lights are still on.

Let’s take another look through the sunroof.  Feels like the fifteenth time now, the snow's still coming down, light as a feather. I figure I'll lose the sky in another twenty.

This is the worst.  Literally everything is going wrong today.

Why did I pack all my blankets in the trunk?  Why did I get in that stupid argument with dad? Why did I bring up mom? Why so many things.

I should call him, tell him I'm okay, tell him I was sorry. But he'll know. I just can't lie to him, he always knows. I suppose, in consolation, I called just about everyone else, at least everyone else that can get me out of here.

Honestly, I should be more worried about my well being but right now all I can think of is that meeting I’m currently missing. Everything was going to be perfect. The merger would’ve gone through, our company would’ve been set for years, and finally I could steal that promotion from Logan. Yeah, so much for that. I can already see how this’ll look. Logan covers the meeting, probably nails the merger, gets the promotion and proceeds to rub it in my face for the next year.

Though, I’m pretty sure I’m too important to fire, so I guess there’s that.

And I’m looking at the sunroof again. It’s slightly whiter than last time. I really wish there was something more interesting to look at. Every side is just trees, mountain or more snow.

Oh god, my lower leg itches and I can't scratch it. This is hell, right here in the snow, with a leg trapped under the crunched dashboard.  I guess it doesn't hurt that badly, but knowing my luck. Yeah, knowing me.

Maybe I'll make a quick call, let him know that I'm sorry but I still don't agree with him.  Sorry not sorry. Kinda like this tree with a wrecked car smashed against it. Sorry not sorry.

I hear a sound and turn around as much as I can.  I can’t see it. I try to find the source with my mirrors but there’s just too much snow.  Please don’t be a bear. I take a look on the right, but the next sound comes from the left.  I turn around to the driver’s side window and there’s a deer.

Holy shit. It’s really a deer, and it’s looking straight at me. Hey there little girl. Oh gosh, her nose is tapping the window, this is amazing. Wait, No no, don’t leave. Please don’t.

And she’s gone, lost in the snow. Just like me.

This is supposed to be karma right? I walk out on him in a moment of passion and now my only companion walks out on me, leaving me alone in a metal prison. Yeah, that sounds like something dad would say.

Why did things have to end like this?  I came to visit and things were going okay.  We did the usual, complained about my brothers never staying in contact, chewed the fat a little.  I think I asked him if he missed working at the lumber mill. Why did I ask that? Maybe it’s because my job is---was likely to change and I wanted some insight from someone who worked the same job for 50 years. I was curious.

Oh right, that’s when it went to shit.  I told him I had to leave early today to make my business meeting.  I thought he’d be happy for me, “look at how much you’ve grown” and all that, but instead he tells me “You need to stop chasing money all the time.  Take a vacation, you need one.”

I mean, are you kidding me?  I bust my ass all the time, still bother to come and visit, and now when it’s all going to pay off you’re going to choose now to lecture me?  About what even? I’ve been killing myself to get this promotion for---

---my thoughts are thrown off by the sound of a groan.  Sounded like the tree. I hear a muffled “thump” off the side.  Looks like the snow on the branches is starting to fall. Oh shit, what if the car gets covered and they can’t find me?

I need to get out.  I need to climb back up the main road, I’ll friggin' lose my mind waiting like this.  I start pulling at my trapped leg, but gently. I’m not an idiot.

Ow ow OW, shit.  I can’t pull it out, it’s just too trapped in there.  I start looking around for something to pry it open. Unfortunately, there’s nothing to be found except for some leftovers of dad’s: a tupperware of hearty stew.

Another mound of snow lands with a muffled clap against the ground, this time farther away.  What if I die out here? No, that’s crazy, I know they’ll be here. The tow truck said it would just take a little bit to get out this far.

But what if? Would anyone miss me? I mean, I guess dad would. My brothers might if only they stayed in contact; I could freeze to death out here and they wouldn’t even realize. I wonder, what if dad never finds out? I mean, I didn’t exactly leave on the best of terms, what if he just assumes I chose never to speak with him again? I should call him. I should, but I can’t. I still don’t think I was wrong.

Maybe I deserve this, I really do. Let’s talk about karma again, maybe this is all my fault and maybe this is the world speeding up the message. Who got in a stupid argument and left without an apology? That was me. Yeah, and guess who thought it would be a good idea to start thrashing around like a child at a goddamn blind turn? Yup, me again. All because I needed to be right.

Geez, was I was always such a mess?  I know he means well. In all my years I don’t think he ever said anything to upset me, except for the one time.

Right, that’s how I found out.  About mom, I mean. I think I was 10, and dad lit up the fireplace.  He never used to do that, now he won’t friggin stop. He just sat me down on his knee and didn’t say anything for a while.  Wait, why am I even thinking about this, I’m fine. I’m going to be fine. Just a little stir crazy right now.

Gotta breathe. Relax. There’s nothing I can do to speed this up, so let’s just...take it in.

Let’s take another look at the sunroof.  Little patchier than last time, but I can still see through.  I think I’ll just look at it for a while this time, can’t explain why.  Never really thought about it, but the snow is actually really beautiful.  I’m sure dad would have something to say about the majesty of nature or something like that.  I think it’s a little cruel, personally. I mean, I crashed my car into a tree and it hardly moved an inch, I screamed and called for help but the woods didn’t care.  A deer came by to taunt me, look how freely it ran away. Kinda wonder if it’ll come back, but I guess it doesn’t matter. None of it does.

I hear another clump of snow, I can’t see where it landed, but it was definitely the same tree.  I’m not really scared anymore though. I mean, maybe my car gets buried, maybe it doesn’t. Pretty sure the tow truck and the ambulance will figure it out, and hey at least there’s still sunlight.

Strangely, I remember something mom said about the snow. I know it’s a weird thing to remember, but she called it God’s fluffy white blanket, putting the land to sleep.  It told the forest to hibernate until morning comes in the spring. I think it’s kinda sad that I only ever remember stupid stuff like that when it comes to mom.

She was right though, looking at the view again I can see it.  Everywhere outside my little metal prison is white, with patches of pine and bark, and some hoofprints that never reached the dirt.  Heck, even the trail my car left is completely white again.

I wonder if this is what dad was talking about.  He calls it the beautiful futility of nature.  I always ask why he’d rather live in the mountains rather than stay in the city, closer to me and his sons, and every time that’s the response; its to witness the beautiful futility of nature.  He told me it’s the idea that even when all of us die, the mountain remains, and there’s nothing we can do to wear it down, that the Earth outlives us all. I always hated that idea of just giving up and waiting to die, but maybe it’s not quite surrender. No, this feels more like an acceptance of surrender. This feels more like patience.  I can’t think of anything more peaceful than here, stuck in the middle of an unexpected snowfall.

Now my eyes are kinda itchy.  Oh, I guess it’s just tears. Weird, I’m definitely not sad right now.

My phone starts buzzing.  A text from the tow service.  Got caught in traffic, will be there in a few minutes.  Well, I started with “Get here ASAP”, so I wonder how much this’ll mess with them:

"Take your time, I’m doing fine.”

Funnily enough, it’s true.  It hasn’t been this true in a long time.